Hello dear ones,
Life has been A LOT lately. Getting accepted to CalArts has been a literal dream, but navigating three violent institutions — banks, schools, immigration — has really pushed me to my edge. I’m so grateful for all of the work that I’ve done in therapy these past years on my poor kid trauma because WOW. Add to this finding housing in LA, running an upcoming webinar, and getting prepared for a new product launch — which I’ll share more about below — and here we are.
It’s funny how, even as I see myself doing so much, I’ve been feeling guilty about not tending to this newsletter. And I’ve been watching that guilt transform into shame: You owe people your writing! There are people paying for this! You made a commitment! Get it together Margeaux! Yesterday, I stood in the shower, taking in the hot water on my skin, and I realized that I didn’t have to write some big profound piece of new writing — I could just tell y’all what’s been going on.
On Wednesday, I wrapped up Intimacy for Trauma BBs, an 8-week long peer support container that I run 1-2 times a year. One of the things that we talked about is celebrating the small things as much as the big. How, when you live with trauma and you’re rewiring neural pathways that’ve been there for decades, small is big. I want to take that approach with this newsletter. I can give myself the permission and the grace to write a small missive to you all, and celebrate how big that feels for me in this moment.
So here are some personal and professional updates:
I just did the most nourishing IG Live with my bestie and brilliant somatic practitioner Varia Erochina, where we talked about shame and other so-called “ugly” feelings. We’ve been collaborating — for the first time ever in our 15+ year-long friendship — on my webinar “Befriending Our Shame.” I’ll be bringing the psycho-education and Varia will be bringing the somatic practice.
WE FOUND A HOME!!! We were so prepared to battle the LA rental hellscape, but the universe and ancestors really had our back and we found our sweet little cottage home in Echo Park on our very first weekend looking. I have a lot of trauma around housing thanks to growing up poor, and was so ready for that trauma to come to the surface. Am feeling forever grateful to my partner for helping talk me through an anxiety spiral, the spreadsheet they made to help us keep track of potential homes, and their commitment to finding our dream nest together. Will definitely share pics once we’ve set things up.
I MADE A DECK!!! I started making these cards after attending an intuition card workshop with friend and talented artist Or Har-Gil back in 2018. I was a year into living with chronic pain and intense dissociation, and I found myself unable to write (my go-to mode of creative expression). Words felt scrambled around in my brain, and my wrists were in too much pain to type. I knew that I needed an outlet for creativity, and that I needed a tool to help anchor me through the waves of dissociation and immobilization.
anchored: a deck for healing includes 75 cards, each meant to be their own anchor in your healing journey. In the accompanying guide book — totalling 175 pages — you’ll find thoughts and reflections on each word, as well as a practice you can use to help bring this anchor into your life. This deck will be a limited edition run of 1500. Once those are gone, I’m not sure when I’ll be printing them (thanks to being on a student visa in the US for the next two years, work stuff is tricky).
Folks who’ve signed up for my website newsletter (different from CARESCAPES) will receive an early access link at 9am PDT on June 9th and will have 24 hrs to purchase yours before I open that link to the public. So if you want to grab this deck for yourself and/or a friend, you can click the link below. And just one more picture because I can’t handle it!
If you have the means to donate — and/or share — this call for support, please do.
This fundraiser is for Marlei, or @marleisubia on Instagram. Marlei is a mother of two kids who’s currently struggling to meet rent, and is also raising for a forever home. Marlei and her kids need this as soon as possible so they don’t have to face homelessness and can feel safe in a space of their own. Please help out in any way you can, even $1 or $5 dollars adds up.
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