So appreciate you sharing how these specific lines resonated for you. Always feel so honored when folks tell me that I've given language to an experience they've been trying to articulate. Thank you.
I feel like I'm reading something I wrote to myself. I'm also going through a breakup with the same themes and inner processing you wrote here. Amidst so much mess, thank you for making me feel less alone in this struggle to walk away. It makes me feel like I'm less "wrong" for doing so. When we have so much care and empathy for others, we also need to shine that empathy on ourselves for our side of the situation too. Sending you big tear-soaked hugs 🫂
Thank you CC. I'm sending so much softness your way as you move through your waves of breakup grief. While I don't know your situation, I feel like I can say that you're definitely not wrong. We really do need to extend that empathy towards ourselves -- and that is such a loving act, for ourselves and others.
I am in a similar space and it’s been so potent for me, creatively. Thanks for this vulnerable share. Right now I am also exploring the tension of rupture without repair and what that means for my personal growth.
Love it when we can alchemize what's happening for us personally into something creative. And big ooffff I know that tension well. It's so hard when we don't have the opportunity for repair. And also really beautiful to discover what we can offer ourselves in repair's absence.
I resonate A LOT with what you are describing here 💙 I stepped out of a relationship a couple of years ago, completely lost and 'martyrised', keeping an unrealistic faith in their growth. I was in a relationship with their potential.
Also, I am now in the process of wanting to leave a short-yet-intense relationship that is already following the same pattern. I see it coming and I wonder, just like you: How long is too long? Well I found this short clip where Jay Shetty and Matthew Hussey talk about 'the amount we invest (initially) is an amount we can afford to lose'. They compare it to the money we can afford to lose when we play roulette, f ex.
"I was in a relationship with their potential": OOOOOFFFFF. That really hit me. Thanks so much for sharing this clip. Looking forward to checking it out <3
Actually, it might be more accurate to say "I was in a relationship with the potential I created in my mind for them". In a way, they were never in the picture. I was relating to an image of them. By projecting this 'ideal' and unreal version of them, I missed them where they currently were. They might have felt very unseen, not-enough, disrespected and disconnected from me, now that I think about it... 😔 How can I create true intimacy with someone I am not fully seeing?
"Uncertain but curious. Scared but still hopeful. For each time a relationship ends, I believe that we get closer to what it is we truly desire for ourselves. And every relationship is an opportunity for growth. What a gift, even amidst the heartbreak."
Feeling this so deep within me. Beautiful, nourishing words.
This resonated with me in a profound way. I’m in a very similar situation in my life. It feels like I’m being torn apart from both sides. I can’t seem to find an answer to the question: How much should I give and how much should I look out for me in a possibly selfish way?
Ooooffff, that's such a hard question to answer and one that I struggle with myself. Sometimes all I can do is trust that when it's time to walk away, I'll know. Sending you softness as you move through a similar situation <3
I don’t think I’ve ever connected my (sometimes problematic) ability to see the potential in someone with my deep love and belief in change and transformation. I know both of those things exist in me but connecting them…wow that gives me so much more compassion for myself in the relationship arena (as I also work on unlearning the parts of seeing this kind of potential that are harmful to me).
Thank you so much for sharing! I’ll be thinking about this for a long while.
I'm soooooo honored to hear that this writing could help you connect some dots here and that you'll be able to offer yourself more compassion as a result <3
"And, in refusing to step away from them, I move further away from myself. I become a martyr for their growth."
Oh gosh these two sentances just grabbed me by the throat 🫠 thank you for putting that into words!!
So appreciate you sharing how these specific lines resonated for you. Always feel so honored when folks tell me that I've given language to an experience they've been trying to articulate. Thank you.
Same! So relatable💗
I feel like I'm reading something I wrote to myself. I'm also going through a breakup with the same themes and inner processing you wrote here. Amidst so much mess, thank you for making me feel less alone in this struggle to walk away. It makes me feel like I'm less "wrong" for doing so. When we have so much care and empathy for others, we also need to shine that empathy on ourselves for our side of the situation too. Sending you big tear-soaked hugs 🫂
Thank you CC. I'm sending so much softness your way as you move through your waves of breakup grief. While I don't know your situation, I feel like I can say that you're definitely not wrong. We really do need to extend that empathy towards ourselves -- and that is such a loving act, for ourselves and others.
I am in a similar space and it’s been so potent for me, creatively. Thanks for this vulnerable share. Right now I am also exploring the tension of rupture without repair and what that means for my personal growth.
Love it when we can alchemize what's happening for us personally into something creative. And big ooffff I know that tension well. It's so hard when we don't have the opportunity for repair. And also really beautiful to discover what we can offer ourselves in repair's absence.
This helped me see a lot of things about myself I really needed to see. It also inspired me to make some art. Thank you for that 💜
Wow, I'm so honored that my words inspired your art -- and that you feel seen by my words.
I resonate A LOT with what you are describing here 💙 I stepped out of a relationship a couple of years ago, completely lost and 'martyrised', keeping an unrealistic faith in their growth. I was in a relationship with their potential.
Also, I am now in the process of wanting to leave a short-yet-intense relationship that is already following the same pattern. I see it coming and I wonder, just like you: How long is too long? Well I found this short clip where Jay Shetty and Matthew Hussey talk about 'the amount we invest (initially) is an amount we can afford to lose'. They compare it to the money we can afford to lose when we play roulette, f ex.
https://youtu.be/RfCrPXAa9as?t=384&si=md7K-Vuzj4u05mSF
"I was in a relationship with their potential": OOOOOFFFFF. That really hit me. Thanks so much for sharing this clip. Looking forward to checking it out <3
Actually, it might be more accurate to say "I was in a relationship with the potential I created in my mind for them". In a way, they were never in the picture. I was relating to an image of them. By projecting this 'ideal' and unreal version of them, I missed them where they currently were. They might have felt very unseen, not-enough, disrespected and disconnected from me, now that I think about it... 😔 How can I create true intimacy with someone I am not fully seeing?
I love your words so so much, it’s as if you’re inside of me 💛 thank you x
🥹🥹😭😭 wow I'm so honored.
"Uncertain but curious. Scared but still hopeful. For each time a relationship ends, I believe that we get closer to what it is we truly desire for ourselves. And every relationship is an opportunity for growth. What a gift, even amidst the heartbreak."
Feeling this so deep within me. Beautiful, nourishing words.
Thank you so much for sharing the words that really resonated for you. It's always such a gift.
This was so so beautiful to read! Thank you so much for sharing 💕🤍✨🤍💕
<3 <3 <3 thank you for these kind words
beautiful and inspiring words. thanks for your expression!
I can feel your heart in this space with me. It all very much resonates, thank you 💓
Wow, I'm so honored to hear this. Thank you for sharing <3
This resonated with me in a profound way. I’m in a very similar situation in my life. It feels like I’m being torn apart from both sides. I can’t seem to find an answer to the question: How much should I give and how much should I look out for me in a possibly selfish way?
Ooooffff, that's such a hard question to answer and one that I struggle with myself. Sometimes all I can do is trust that when it's time to walk away, I'll know. Sending you softness as you move through a similar situation <3
I don’t think I’ve ever connected my (sometimes problematic) ability to see the potential in someone with my deep love and belief in change and transformation. I know both of those things exist in me but connecting them…wow that gives me so much more compassion for myself in the relationship arena (as I also work on unlearning the parts of seeing this kind of potential that are harmful to me).
Thank you so much for sharing! I’ll be thinking about this for a long while.
I'm soooooo honored to hear that this writing could help you connect some dots here and that you'll be able to offer yourself more compassion as a result <3
This piece pokes at all my hope and all my grief, simultaneously. Thank you for sharing x
A much delayed response to say thank you so much for sharing how this piece impacted you <3